Captain Jellybeard gazed out upon the ocean, its deep blue waters were calming to him as it reminded him of home. It had been many moons since he had left his small village of Jellatopia to sail the seas as a ferocious pirate, he couldn’t help but feel somewhat accomplished even if his first mate was a sea-sick cat. Jellybeard knew about hardships as he was one of the Great Jellyfish that had been persecuted by so many.
“Have ye spotted them?” Jellybeard asked to the cat whom had recently finished throwing up. The Feline looked over to him as he licked his paw to clean his face.
“Does it look like I’ve been able to?” His name was Maximillian Von Maximillius and few people knew how or why he and the captain had become friends. Maximillian was from the upper class if his dress didn’t give that away and Jellybeard wasn’t, to be honest. Jellybeard was a drunkard and a thief while Max was extremely proper and clean.
“Well if ya aint be using the tele-thingy give ‘er ‘ere,” The massive jelly said with a slimy appendage stretched out, the cat placed the telescope under one arm and pulled a shiny gold pocket watch from his waistcoat.
Checking the time he spoke, “Telescope, that it’s na - ,” Max turned a shade of green, which was quite the feat as his fur was ginger. He once again spun towards the ocean and began retching but still held out the pocket watch. Jellybeard snatched the telescope from under the feline’s arm and held it up to his eye patch. That was when he saw it, the luxury yacht of the King of Desserts, Doug. Jellybeard’s face moved into some kind of smile, but it was hard to tell for anyone looking; he threw the telescope over him and screamed,
“Ya mangy curs, kick Otto in the teeth and tell him to get moving.”
One of the pirates yelled something below deck and it followed down until it got to the engine room, in which Otto the Engine Octopus began to run on a giant wheel. The massive fan stuck to the back of Jellybeard’s frigate kicked into high gear and set them rocketing across the ocean.
“Oh god, no!” he heard Maximillian yell as the cat clawed into the wood.
“Ye must get thar fast, the engines on that ting are much better than ours!” the captain yelled to his crew.
Max looked over to Jellybeard. Wait, that sounded strange, could he be faking the pirate talk? Max thought to himself.
“Wait, you sounded almost intelligent then,” the cat yelled out. Jellybeard’s eye patches went wide as Max spoke.
“Umm, I meant to say, the thingy make ‘em go fast,” The pirate recovered poorly, Max thought about another question as they approached the target.
“Also, how did you see through that telescope?”
There was a mighty crash as Jellybeard’s ship smashed into the yacht. Several pirates quickly jumped on deck, weapons drawn but were met with resistance.
Doug’s loyal army of ice cream men and their minions, ice cream cone-men attacked. The ice cream cone-men made some of the pirate’s body conscious with cruel taunts and gave most of them ice cream headaches. The ice cream men hurled massive scoops of Neapolitan without the chocolate.
“Those monsters!” exclaimed Max.
“Me thinks it’s time for us to join the fight,” Jellybeard looked towards Maximillian who nodded to his captain. Both jumped into action. The first ice cream cone-man laughed at Jellybeard.
“Ha, you’re so fat!” The cone-man pointed at him, Jellybeard crossed his limbs.
“Me’ll ‘ave you know, that me is quite attractive as a Jellyfish,” Jellybeard caught one of the pirates looking at him strangely.
“Um, Me mean’s die,” he pulled out one of his flintlocks and shot the cone-man.
“Oww man, I was just using words and you took it too far,” it cried as it collapsed in a pile of melted cream. Jellybeard put aside his guilt as he turned to find Max perched on a screaming cone-man. The feline was contently licking away the ice cream.
“Oh god, get him off, get him off,” it screamed. Jellybeard laughed as he heard a shout of victory, he watched as his crew tied up the remaining ice cream men.
“What should we do with them sir?” one of the pirates asked.
Jellybeard floated over to them. “Monster like this need to feel pain, we’ll maroon them for their crimes against the people,” everyone cheered.
“Neapolitan without chocolate, what villains,” The captain whispered to himself.
“We found him sir,” Someone yelled out below decks on the yacht.
“Bring ‘im up,” Jellybeard called down. One of the pirates came on deck with a rope in his hand, at the end of it was a white unicorn.
“Doug the Unicorn,” Jellybeard smiled.
“What is the meaning of this? I’ll have you know that I paid for the highest of protection,” Doug the Unicorn spoke, with confidence. There was a loud buzzing in the distance.
“I’ll tell you why, you –,” the buzzing sound turned into a high powered engine noise.
“What is that?” Max asked as he looked into the sky. Jellybeard reached behind him and pulled out the telescope.
“Where did you – you know what, I don’t care,” Max said as he shook his head.
“Trouble, that what it be.” As Jellybeard spoke a massive rocket-powered jet fighter screamed overhead and a body smashed into the yacht. A massive dust cloud kicked up, after a few seconds a figure emerged from it.
“I am Lord Vienspalvis.” He was dressed in all grey, Jellybeard and Max just looked at each other, they quickly walked together and whispered to each other.
“Lord Vanspillson?” Jellybeard asked.
“Lord Vienspalvis.” His lordship corrected, the two huddled again.
“Vinspanner?” Maximillian asked
“Vienspalvis!” Vienspalvis shouted at them.
“Vooveevoo?” Jellybeard asked.
“That time you didn’t even try, you just made vee noises,” The lord’s eye twitched.
“Lord V thing, that’s about to get his butt kicked,” Max chuckled.
“That’s not my name!” Vienspalvis eyes went slightly bloodshot.
“’Tis now,” Jellybeard said, as they both began to laugh.
“ARGH! I’ll show you!” he howled as he held out his index fingers and began to shoot highly concentrated rainbows in the eyes of two near-by pirates.
“I’m blind!” screamed one.
“That is quite annoying!” yelled the other as he stumbled off the yacht.
Lord Vienspalvis quickly blinded several pirates and mildly annoyed three others. Finally, Max and Jellybeard stepped forward, his lordship smiled.
“I know a Felines greatest weakness,” Vienspalvis grinned, Max smirked.
“Unlik – whats that?” He spoke as a red dot appeared onto the floor of the yacht.
“Chase the red dot kitty,” The lord began to move his finger around the ship.
“Got to catch that!” Max screamed as he began to chase the dot around.
Vienspalvis held out his index and middle fingres towards Jellybeard, two rainbows shot out and hit the two eye patches that the jellyfish wore. Nothing happened. Again he shot out the rainbows but once again nothing.
“Hey, that’s not fair, you’re wearing eye patches,” his lordship sulked.
“Let see how me be without then,” Jellybeard lifted the eye patches. Vienspalvis quickly shot another rainbow but nothing happened.
“You see, the Jellyfish’s greatest strength is…“Jellybeard began as he lifted his noodle appendages.
“We don’t have eyes!” the Jellyfish shouted as a massive bolt of lightning arced from his tentacles and struck the ground below the lord. The massive explosion sent him flying into the sky.
“Ahhhh! Next time Jellybeard!” he screamed as he rocketed off into the distance. Max walked over to Jellybeard, now composed. Both looked at Doug as he looked off to where Vienspalvis had gone.
“Wait come back,“ he whispered. The unicorn turned to face the pirates.
“So, I guess you are here for the Leprechaun,” Doug held himself high.
“Wait, what Leprechaun? I’ll take the Leprechaun,” Max said with a gleam in his eye..Leprechaun meant gold which means he might actually be paid this month.
“You’re not here for it then?” Doug looked perplexed. Jellybeard stepped up to him and shoved a tentacle in his face.
“Last year, ya made me a berthdee cake, me asked for chocolate icing and ya made me vanilla!” He howled, a tear formed below the right eye patch. Doug looked as though he had been hit on the head.
“What, that’s it?” he asked with a look that said, my brains just ducked out.
“That’s it?” The captain stared at the unicorn and spoke with a tone that could only be described as insulted. “OF COURSE!” Jellybeard screeched. “Give me those!” he yelled as he tore a set of keys off the unicorn’s saddle. “Now git off me new boat,” the captain pointed to the ocean.
“You can’t be serious, its three days to the nearest port,” Doug protested as he looked around. When he looked back at Jellybeard, there was a flintlock in his face. Max watched as a sweat began to pour off the unicorn. “I’m sure I can manage though,” he giggled nervously as he jumped into the sea. Max watched as Doug slowly swam away.
“Is that it!Me should ‘ave shot the landlubber,” Jellybeard spoke as he brought a pipe up to his face.
Max thought of asking where he got the pipe from but he decided to just let it go, he probably won’t get a real answer anyway. “Now will someone make me a cake?” the captain shouted. Everyone laughed. Jellybeard slowly turned around, with a mad look on his patches.
“No, really, someone make me a cake,” he pulled out a flintlock and clicked it back.
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